Where is the time going? Week 3 since my last visit to the naturopath where I found out about my intolerances to Soy and Sugar. The last week has had some emotional and physical highs and lows. It feels like my skin is freaking out, which I couldn’t understand because surely after 2 - 3 weeks of no sugar or soy I thought I would be starting to see benefits (if only life was that easy!) I spent the first half of the week really worried about my skin as I had a big wedding coming up at the weekend that would involve me spending a lot of time with my friends and being around cameras and having to be in photos…something that causes me a lot of anxiety when my skin is bad. Although I my skin was getting worse and worse through the week, somewhere along the way I really made an effort to try and release myself from the worry and stress. I confided how I was feeling to my boyfriend and my close friends and that helped. I read a book this week called “Skin Picking: The freedom to final stop” — I would highly recommend this book to anyone suffering from obsessive skin picking like me. The book made me feel really understood for the first time ever and has some great practical tips for stopping (including covering your mirrors which I finally did properly — see photo). I have already devoured the book once and now will be re-reading it again more slowly.
My therapist (who I’m specifically seeing as she is an expert in Skin Picking) suggested that I might be experiencing Candida die-off due to starving the yeast overgrowth in my gut from the sugar it was used to. Maybe it’s a direct response to not having sugar and my body going through ‘detox’. Who knows…either way my skin is not in a good place but I’m doing my best to not pick it and not to obsess over it. It’s hard, but having awareness of the fact that I’m obsessing and making a conscious effort to let go seems to be helping at least.
This week I have introduced two new foods into my diet; fish and eggs. It wasn’t something I really thought about for very long; One day when I was really sick by boyfriend was coming over to look after me and he asked what I want to have for dinner and I heard a voice inside me say “white fish”. Since I have been vegan for 18 months this was pretty surprising but it tasted great and I didn’t experience any stomach problems. Since I found out that my protein and Iron stores are low and since I can no longer eat Soy I have been craving more protein rich foods like fish and eggs. I had my first eggs at the weekend and they tasted amazing. I think my plan for the week is to be predominantly plant based but try to incorporate fish 2x a week and some eggs when I want. I hope that this will help my body restore itself. I am trying to tap into my body and ask it what it needs daily. So far it’s been telling me it just needs space and time to heal.
One funny / not funny thing from the weekend was the moment my boyfriend and I realized that I had unwittingly been eating corn chips cooked in soybean oil!! We couldn’t believe it! I felt so sick afterwards from worry about how my skin would react as it was the night before the wedding, but I took a digestive enzyme that my naturopath gave me for emergencies. You have to laugh really…but I was pretty upset at the time. Lesson learned - always read the labels! I now think I understand why I had such a bad reaction 6 months ago after a weekend away with my boyfriend and his friends as I ate SO many of those same chips AND had a really sugary lemonade at the restaurant we were at…Sugar + Soy = not a good idea!
I guess looking back on this week there has been progress even though it seems slow. I’ve opened up to people, released some of my worry/anxiety and learned some important lessons. Here’s hoping that i’ll start to see some improvements in my skin and energy soon!